Emmett and the Computer
by Kelsey.writes.fanfiction
Summary: Emmett was on one of the computers, eyes wide, like a child's, and every once and awhile he actually squealed quietly, and clicked feverishly. Eventually he began reading out loud...


_**A/N—I'm sorry about the poor writing quality and such. I just found it (this is about 3 years old, guys!) Being me, I am too lazy and have no time to edit it too much. Story is inspired by all the copy pastes on profiles, not at all serious. Enjoy and Review, if you will.**_

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The day began as any other, Edward and I went to the house to be with the family, and we greeted everyone with happy hellos. But, someone was missing. Shocked, Rosalie looked around the room for Emmett, but he was not there. Knowing the trouble that he was likely to cause, we rushed to find him. I was the one to find him, and I very nearly died laughing when I found him. Reaching out with my mind, I sent a message out to the others on my shield, telling them to come here and be quiet about it. The family filed into the room, quietly, with questioning looks on their faces. Shaking my head, I smiled, motioned for them to be quiet, and pointed at Emmett. Emmett, well, Emmett, was on one of the computers, eyes wide, like a child's, and every once and awhile he actually squealed quietly, and clicked feverishly. Eventually he began reading out loud.

"'A day without light is, well, night.' ... OH, I like that... Copy, hehe, paste...  
'If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?'...Yeah, why DO we have to buy her friends? ...nah, well yeah. Cop-py, annnnd, Paste!"

We all stared at each other in disbelief and curiosity. What the heck had Emmett gotten himself _into_?

"Hehe, this is awesome!"

"'Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls...' no... That's not me. . . I'll put that on Bella's."

Stiffening, I almost walked up to him to see what the heck he was doing. I decided not to, and I waited... I glanced at the others. Alice- obviously knowing something was up- was smiling, and her eyes glistened in silent laughter. Jasper's head was cocked slightly to one side, obviously wondering about Emmett's sanity. Esme had one hand over her face, probably trying not to laugh. Carlisle stood next to her shaking in silent laughter. Rosalie's mouth was open slightly, her eyes questioning. Wondering what the heck her husband had gotten into this time, probably. Edward stood near me, eyebrows raised, staring at his brother. It was hilarious and it was all I could do to not start laughing right there. Emmett stared talking to himself again.

" 'Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars'... Alice. Definitely Alice." I had to hand it to him; Emmett never did have any tact...

"'I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.'... Hrmm, that's a bit harder... Rosie. Gotta be Rosie." Emmett continued to murmur to himself, not noticing our presences in the room.

Rose nearly snarled, but Jasper waved at her, obviously feeling her anger.

"'If anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand.' Sounds like something Carlisle would say... hmm...  
'I seriously believe that I'm stupid in my own special way. Or that I'm special in my own stupid way. Either one I forget!' Definitely Edward. Heck, I'll put it on his and Jasper's... heheeh...  
'Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.' Man, someone needs to tell Jasper that...  
'If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile' Oh yeah, that's Bella...  
'Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune.'... do they!"

With that, Emmett proceeded to sing the whole alphabet, and, mixing up X and Z. After he was done, he sang 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' all the way though.

"Wow! They _are_ the same! ... 'If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this to your profile.' Well, that's me. It's just so much fun making them mad!  
'If you're a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.'... Well, that has to go to Esme. She is just way to nice! Even after all the stupid stuff I've done...  
'If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile' hey, is that why the doors say that on them? ...Wow...  
'If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile' that is so going to Bella!  
...'If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. Again, So Bella...  
'If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile' Wow. It's like they were made for Bella."

Emmett was beginning to get on my nerves, and I saw Alice laughing silently. I vowed to take my revenge on her for that...

"'If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile'... We-ell, that's gotta be Alice."

I turned to Alice, whose smirk had slipped off her face, and I smiled at her and turned back to Emmett.

"'If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you _constantly_ and won't _shut up_, copy and paste this into your profile' hahahahahaaaa... That HAS to be Edward! haha. That's killa!  
'If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile' well, that's Jasper, Edward, Bella, and Carlisle...  
'If you have ever run into a mirror, copy this into your profile' ...Rosalie. She's always looking at those stupid things, when she is always so pretty, I just don't see the point!  
'If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile,' oh, so Bella!  
This is too! 'If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile'  
'If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.' Geez! Bella again!  
'If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apparent reason; copy this to your profile.' Bella...  
'If you've ever lost your sunglasses, then found then on your head, copy this to your profile.' Haha, so Alice. She's so crazy...  
'If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.' Well, who doesn't have their own world? I'll put it on mine...  
'If whenever someone asks you your name, you have to think about it, copy this to your profile.' Yeah, well, I have a lot of stuff on my mind...  
'If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile'... Well, maybe that's mine as well...  
'If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.' _Yeah!_ I always thought _that __**toaster**_ had it out for me! Every time I walk past it, it goes POP!"

It was true, the toaster did go POP every time he walked by, but that was because Alice, Esme, Rosalie and I had a running gag with Emmett and the toaster...

"'If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile'... Well, I think we ALL know someone, but the problem is that most of them would probably hurt the bus, instead of the bus hurting them... Oh well, might as well put it on all of them... THERE! ALL done! Now I just have to go downstairs and make sure no one noticed I was gone— OH! Hi guys..." Emmett grinned a falsely innocent smile.

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_**A/N— Hi guys. Sorry about this. Just a silly story. I found this while looking for my redone document of "I want to be Superman, too"—which, might I add, is being worked on, just slowly. I'm a junior in high school, and the homework is… a pain. I thought I might post this, even though it's nearly ridiculous. It's crazy how much my writing styles have changed in a few years. Ah, well, I'll leave you be.**_

_**-Thanks,**_

_**-Kelsey.**_

**_~Reviews, even if they're short, are welcome.~_**


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